Let’s Start With Some Reviews!

by Gareth Jones on August 31, 2010

Might as well throw up some student reviews to get everyone in gear!

Here’s one from my very first bootcamp with The ABCs from AznBaySensation:

“The greatest part of learning is being able to give information and feedback back to the community.

I want to thank all the instructors, for your patience, honest feedback and reliable presence.

JT, Kevin Feng, Ozzie Rios, Gareth Jones, Claire. They were there with me every step of the way and without each of those facets. the quality of this boot camp wouldn’t have been the same.

The first day was great, I learned about attraction in terms of a progression and in a structured format. Seeing it this way helped me make sense of something that is usually a hodgepodge to me. Attraction was something I thought happened by chance. Being that I arrived forty minutes late, I missed the parts about why an Asian dating coach is important for Asians and the expectations students had about the bootcamp. My recommendation is if your considering a bootcamp, don’t repeat my mistake, arrive on time! That aside, I learned some cool new terms, like buying temperature, escalation and extract. I never realized when girls appraised you for sex, it was similar to the reactions one might have about purchasing something they really like. I thought this was kind of cool, connecting something we as men often view as actions only woman do, choosing to have sex with a man to something all people do, shop. That gave me a frame of reference to fall back on in case I ever wondered, “What is she feeling right now as I am opening myself up to her?”

One of my biggest limitations were my beliefs about being Asian. I always thought, because I am Asian I can’t be a rockstar. I gotta make sure I make lots of money first before thinking about girls or before it would even be possible to have choices. These attitudes made me less direct and more apt to hide in the background when sticking up for your opinion led to big payoffs. No offense to anyone, but its was a problem for all of us. JT exemplified the attitude of a direct, alpha male real well. He spoke firmly, often pretty loudly and rarely hid his opinion from us. I appreciate that aspect of the program a lot because I never get that kind of feedback from anyone anywhere else.

After the discussion about values, predominate “Asian” traits, we got to experiment with confident posture and walking. I didn’t think it was an important aspect of being a powerful, confident alpha male, but I found out I had a few problems with my posture. My shoulders slumped, feet not wide enough apart and my hips tend to gyrate when I talk. Thank you JT and Ozzie for pointing out this nervous tic. In poker, a tic is a physical action telegraphing anxiety, and in this case, when my hips moved, I was nervous. I really enjoyed the part of practicing on Claire, JT’s Model friend. She was intimidating at first because one, she was gorgeous but two, we were going to expose our tender egos to her, something I had never done in front of a girl on purpose.

It really helped me get out of my comfort zone just by practicing in front of a girl. I could never do that with a girl that’s friend of mine before, but I think now I could.

We went through a whole gamut of things like natural vs. canned openers, Kinos, story telling and BT spiking. These things I had never learned before but gave me valuable insight into the mechanics of attraction. The first night was by far the coolest night of my life.

We went to a really cool club, and approached 7 sets, 3 less than my target but nonetheless more than I’ve ever done in my life. The first set was a beautiful, tall blond and shorter redhead, and I will admit I was very nervous, but the set turned out harmless and I was able to do a short intro of about 5 minutes and get back to my table. I had a good 3, 4 sets after that with conversations varying from 5 to 15 minutes. I even approached and sat with a set of 40 year old women, now that was an experience.

I didn’t manage any kiss or F* closes, but got one number close.
We debriefed after-wards and received good feedback. Some things I learned about my actions:

More direct
volume vs. quality
letting the past go
keeping expectations to a minimum
Actively fight against social conditioning.

End of Day one.


Day two:

Keeping my wits about myself, the second day was a lot more sobering for me. I believed I was pretty good at picking up girls, but I realized being fun and sociable, able to make girls laugh doesn’t necessarily make me a sexual guy. So we learned about BLP, body language positioning today. How to keep your stance, body language situated so its clear your interest is direct toward a girl. This is something I struggled and still struggle with. I tend to approach a girl, hit it off pretty good and then wonder how to get her back to my table.

This night, we went to a rockin club, very swanky and cool. First few sets started off well, danced a little bit. I had a ton of approach anxiety at first though, lots of hot girls done up really sexy will do that to you. After some pushing by JT and Ozzie got me through it though and I managed to move on to some good sets. I managed to pull in two sets of ladies to our table that night, but both times with some slight help from the rest of the crew. Whether because we had two girls with us or that we had lots of girls with us brought by other guys, I can’t say it was all due to my skill. In the end I was pretty satisfied with day two, I had a kiss close on both cheeks but didn’t get a mouth to mouth kiss. Not too bad though, since it was first time I had gotten that far in a club.

After our night on the town, we did a bit of recap and my mistakes still related to being direct and just going for the kiss. Its something I am going to be working on for awhile.


Day Three:We focused a great deal today on how to deal with being AMOGGED and AMOGGING other people. I was surprised to learn how much its possible to be amogged by other girls. In fact, most of the time amogging is done to me by other girls. One of the biggest hurdles I came into the program with is being able to keep a good conversation going. I usually have no problems carrying on a conversation but not when I know the intent is to game her. I always run out things to say, could be a mental thing? But anyway, we practiced storytelling on the fly which was pretty cool, I’ve never seriously practiced that in front others before. Surprisingly, its pretty easy to make up a story from nothing but an idea, but I still feel kinda stupid and corny when I do it.We touched on LMR and escalation, the basics. I have some what of a trouble really applying these parts as they are the most difficult aspects of pickup. I usually never go to bars/nightclubs in general and for the past few days, I’ve been building good vibes and maybe getting a number or two. So this is a big area I want to focus on for my upcoming journey.The club of choice tonight was Cinema, a club with a more laid-back, smokey lounge type vibe. I wasn’t feeling the smoking and punk-rocker style chicks in the beginning, used lots of excuses not to introduce myself and do some approaching. Ozzie, Kevin and JT quickly broke them down and I was able to do some moderate approaches. I wasn’t really connecting with anyone until a few hours into the game. Most of the girls weren’t attractive to me, but I didn’t approach many girls to find out anything about them, pickup is being social as well right?

It wasn’t later in the night, against my reservations that I approached a black girl. And it turned out surprisingly well. We talked, danced, isolated and got a number close. I was geniunely surprised. I never considered I would date a black girl, wasn’t anything racially motivated, I just don’t feel attracted to them. But, approaching this black girl and closing her made me think maybe many of our opinions are formulated based on fear of the unknown. If I was still in LA, I probably would’ve gone out with her. Escalating with her has given me a new perspective.

Overall the night was the worst night of the three, but I learned the most. It was a difficult setting, filled with people/atmosphere that weren’t necessarily my type.

Several key points I learned about myself:

More dominance
Physical escalation
Sexual Escalation
Limiting Beliefs

are things to work on

Things I do well:

Banter, BTing
High energy

At the end of the day, I learned and relished this bootcamp experience. I grew so much in a matter days that would’ve taken me years to do and thanks to Ozzie, JT, Kevin, Gareth and the girls, I am slowly becoming a new man.

Thanks guys.”

Originally posted on the ABCs forums here: http://www.abcsofattraction.com/community/reviews-testimonials-f42/la-bootcamp-recap-june-5th-8th-t3270.html

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